When we can get together again, it will not be the gifts we exchange or the cash that grandpa quietly sneaks to you when no one’s looking. The pandemic has put an abrupt halt to family gatherings for all of us, and that feels so painful. These family gatherings silently mended emotional wounds, erased gaps of time when we were not together, and strengthened us. Baby showers, weddings, even funerals all had some element in celebrating our history, our joy, and the invisible connection between us all. With my father’s side of the family, every major life event is a mini-reunion. When we went, it felt like my family grew bigger and we were all less alone when we returned to our respective homes. Going there connected me to people I could see myself in as we shared food, danced, cracked jokes, and took pictures. I still remember driving to Kentucky, all with our matching shirts to meet my step-dad’s side of the family. In Black culture, the family reunion is a big deal. The holiday season brings to light all the ways that families spend time together and the traditions they uphold.

What gift is worthy of an event this important? What can he share? Alan is nervous that he is showing up seemingly empty-handed. Everyone has a gift or talent to share when they get there to honor and show gratitude for their family. In Lyon’s story, Alan’s family (the main character), holds their reunion at Granny’s house in the south - all the uncles, aunts, and more cousins than you can count. The family reunion is an intentional act against that. It began with slavery and continues today by way of racists systems like mass incarceration. Black families have been historically separated in a multitude of ways. “Going Down Home with Daddy,” by Kelly Starling Lyons is a book about a family reunion - an important aspect of Black culture that many participate in.

Going down home with daddy